bonjour, monde :s

it's been a pretty long time since the last post, apparently. and because exact dates don't make sense to me that much anymore, i conclude that the reference to le PQP implies sometime while i was still doing french at l'alliance française.. probably while pascal was on holiday, with janet.. so that'd be somewhere about a month before my last day at MHD.

quite a lot has passed since then - 5 months or so? just in case anyone's wondering, french is still very much a part of my daily life, manifested in music, the news on tv5monde and homework. oui, les devoirs. ne te trompes pas en croyant que j'avais arrêté d'apprendre le français, d'accord? :) en fait, maintenant, il fait une partie bcp plus grande qu'avant - une unité sur quatre, les quatre unités que j'ai besoin de finir cette année academique à UCL.

so that's brought us conveniently to UCL - i'm not counting days since I left (or since the last mambo or the last chicken rice, wanton mee or mee pok. or 菜饭 meal), however. it's not exactly a sad event, although to say that it was emotionless would be a horrid lie. Life here has been good - it's hard to ask for more when most things are indeed going well, by objective standards. of course, perfection cannot be expected, neither can absolute coherence with personal goals and desires. there have been pleasant surprises, of course, but also a handful of not-too-pleasant ones, although one would stop short of condemning them to the "to be forgotten" bin.

oh yes, i remember the can of redken mousse falling on my keyboard and the resulting need to replace it. damn.

family came for a visit, left just yesterday night. in a whirlwind 180km/h (on average) holiday, chasing TGVs once every 2 days, from St. Pancras to Gare du Nord, to Gare Cornavin, to Gare St. Charles, back to Gare du Nord and finally St. Pancras. 3 cities in a week, more walking on french speaking soil that i've ever done in my life, and a greater percentage of thinking and speaking in french than even in class. if anything illustrates the magnitude of the effects that experience had, then it must be how i said "bonjour" to the fitness first receptionist, "merci, au revoir" to the waiter at the malaysian resto on charing cross road, and "pardon" when i bumped into this old lady on the way out from st. pancras. oh, and possibly, how i suddenly notice how impolite we sound when we don't use le conditionnel heh - "would I happen to be able to have a little more water please?" heh.. well.. "est-ce qu'on pourrait avoir un peu plus de l'eau?"

if it weren't for the fact that the only french word in my vocabulary last year was bonjour (not least thanks to the bread brand..), i'd have thrown in applications to study in france. then again, we never know how things would've turned out, do we? it does feel good to always know that UCL's no shabby institution, as much as this city.. cette ville.. elle est TROP laide en comparaison avec la belle Paris heh. at least the weather's good..

pour exprimer les regrets

there must be a million things in life we regret, wish never happened or wish we could've changed. then again, it's necessary to remember that today exists by virtue (or by fault) of days and events gone by. If it's a good thing that we have the wisdom (albeit of hindsight), then this goodness must be the value of those mistakes made.

so let's value our mistakes well, for to learn, we must first learn how to fail.

now, let's try that in french. seriously, it's pretty clear that from "it's necessary...":
mais, il faut souvenir que le présent n'existe qu'à cause du passé.
okay skip skip too chim heh

donc, vaut bien des erreurs; pour qu'on sache comment réussir, il faut savoir comment échouer.

Belvedere BEAT

it's the last day of belvedere BEAT - after many bottles of pure, cytrus and pomerancza, several others topped with moet or VC.

the impending inactivity disturbs me - the month has been great, couldn't have asked for a better month of june. working on BEAT has also left me with superb memories of the people I work with: in no order of preference, Marie and Esther, Pierre (bien sur que oui!), Sam, jeremy, cherine and kelvin, dorothy and sebastian from creative forte, amanda and cassh from attica, eugene lim (yes.. arrete) from indochine, jeffrey, shahmil and umm from china one.

oh and how can anyone forget the St. Pierre Experience? The food was great, admittedly, although before and after wasn't exactly comforting.

well it's monday soon, and hopefully, not a day spent sitting waiting for an email or two to come in so i can have something to do. much rather study for french test on friday - mention tres bien, please.. how bad can my conjugations get?

pretty bad, actually. study.

La Mer

La mer, qu'on voit danser
le long des golfes clairs
a des reflets d'argent
La mer
des reflets changeant sous la pluie

la mer, au ciel d'été
confond ses blancs moutons
avec les anges si pur
la mer: bergère d'azur, infinie

voyez, près des étangs
ces grands roseaux mouillés

voyez, ces oiseaux blancs
et ces maisons rouillés

la mer, les a bercés
le long des golfes clairs
et d'une chanson d'amour, la mer
a bercé mon coeur pour la vie

Enfin.. heh.

sometimes, i wonder why i feel so vindicated. especially in recent days when i read the newspapers. guess it's right to listen to people who really know the world and how it works.

le monde, et comment il marche - c'est une grand mystère. mais, quand on écoute de les experiences d'autres, on peut découvrir ce que a raison et ce que a tort. à ces temps, on saura ce qu'on doit faire pour réussir.

c'est ça, non? on doit être d'accord.

Just went to take a look at two other blogs, courtesy of some free time and no alcohol today. Loh's and Sherwin's. Last posts dated 5th nov and sometime in august, respectively. Well, I won't go so far as to say I miss army life and all that, but what I will say is that I miss the memory of the way people were back then.

Then again, logically speaking, memories are always missed. by default. I can barely say that I'm thrilled by the way some of us have turned out (for others who've always been that way, what can I say?). For one, Sherwin's a miserable drinker. So am I, I suppose, although I must add that I was at it for 1.5 hours before his grand arrival. Not so elegantly wasted eh.

So there they are - memories of what used to be. I kinda liked the many sleepy afternoons with the cool air in the bunk being blown around by the fan that's directly above me (and sherwin frequently requests to have lowered. how low, i wonder. low enough to scratch our noses? hahaha) immediately after the 3pm hot shower. natural water tank heating. somehow you wonder how the water can get so hot but the bunk remain cool.

It's pathetic how some relationships have went the last few months. It's so awkward between some of us who used to be the closest of friends, thanks to one happening or another. So this is what the "real world" does to people: scares us, degrades us to our primal instincts and leaves us deprived of the intangible, non-profitable (yes, isn't it?) aspects of life that are, without doubt, the very foundations of our relationships.

maybe it was the apparent hopelessness of the entire ns affair that left all the "oh i want to make some money for so and so purpose" thoughts all the way till the end of our.. sentence. and with our meagre possessions, some of us strove to make a fortune mountain out of a financial anthill, and attempted to make up with time, effort and all things intangible what we lacked in cash and more importantly, credibility and experience.

yes, if you ask me, it's something regrettable. not completely, but at least to some degree.

Alors

thought of the moment. Completely random, probably completely isolated. might not be another heh.

It's ironic that people value Money more than Time, even though the latter is the one that is irreplaceable, while the former is very much the reverse. It's a pity how people don't see beyond the glaring highlight of saving/earning lots and lots of money and realize the true cost, opportunity cost if you would, they're paying.

There're easier ways. Yes, you were right when you gave these lines:
"Let's talk about the risk factors. 1. Time; 2. Effort."

Risk, indeed. The biggest of which must be time. Having your time leveraged on for remuneration - that's probably the second saddest thing to selling your soul. Wouldn't cost much to throw in the effort as a free gift, while you're at it.